‘Project Hail Mary’ review
A few years ago, Martin Scorsese received flak for calling Marvel movies “theme park rides” (a 100% correct opinion that I’ll defend till my dying day). He wasn’t looking down on people who enjoy these movies, instead expressing his disinterest in their primary function: getting you excited for a couple of hours and then disappearing from your mind as soon as you leave the theater. For me, Project Hail Mary falls into this category. It’s inoffensive fun that pushes your hope buttons for a few hours, but it has nothing in it that would draw you back for a repeat watch. And where it really fails as a theme park ride is how it never got my heart racing once.
If you loved The Martian, you’ll most likely vibe with Project Hail Mary. It has the same protagonist, vlog framing device, and overly earnest sense of humor, where everyone makes out-of-touch pop culture references. While this type of humor is my kryptonite, I did enjoy The Martian back in 2015. What put that movie over the edge for me was Ridley Scott’s sturdy direction. I still remember my sweaty palms during the film’s daring climactic rescue mission. Project Hail Mary didn’t get me anywhere close to that feeling throughout its inexcusably long runtime.
I really do admire Phil Lord and Chris Miller as filmmakers. Thanks to their sharp visual humor, strong character writing, and careful plotting, they turned what could have been forgettable throwaways in The LEGO Movie and 21 Jump Street into comedy classics. Their greatest achievement in Project Hail Mary is how seamlessly they blend that visual humor into the majesty of space. The breakout alien co-star’s ship is a perfect encapsulation of this feat. It’s beautifully designed and carries the appropriate weight of seeing an advanced alien ship for the first time. But once it starts to follow Gosling’s ship in a game of tag, you can’t help but laugh at its jerky staccato movements.
I’d have to be a complete grump to say I wasn’t a little charmed by Rocky. He’s the most successful creation of the movie, with his unique design and winning personality earning him a deserved spot in the movie alien hall of fame. If this movie is going to win you over, it’s thanks to the bond between Gosling and this little guy. It’s like Cast Away if Wilson could talk. But I’d be lying if I said the cutesyness of this relationship didn’t wear thin. I think it was a mistake to eventually give the Rockster a voice and have him make quippy jokes. Once this friendship takes center stage, the movie sacrifices any sense of urgency for groan-worthy Millennial humor.
If you’re like me and you clash with this film’s tone, then the formulaic plot isn’t going to do much for you. All I could think of were the better sci-fi movies it was borrowing from, particularly Arrival and Interstellar. And unlike those movies, Project Hail Mary doesn’t give you the same level of satisfaction when you’re learning how the science works. I could listen to Matthew McConaughey talk about black holes and watch Amy Adams translate an alien language into English all day long. Even The Martian gets you invested in the process of Matt Damon figuring out how to survive on a hostile planet, and the people on Earth problem-solving to get him back. Project Hail Mary seems way more interested in corny rock puns than taking you through the process of how to save the freaking planet! It’s all fi and barely any sci.
Once you look past the gobbledygook space magic, the film doesn’t have much to say about the human spirit and resilience. It runs through warmed-over ideas about bravery and sacrifice without doing anything substantial with them. There’s a third-act reveal that attempts to throw a wrench into these themes, but instead of recontextualizing the first two acts, it muddies the movie’s message. The film doesn’t take any time to dissect how this twist affects Gosling’s character, effectively sanding the edges off its one complex idea.
This lack of trust in the audience makes Project Hail Mary an empty experience. It may work as a 2-and-a-half hour distraction from the real world’s problems with its bland substitute for our climate crisis, but it tells you exactly what you’re supposed to feel in each scene and leaves no room for reflection. You might get a rush from the exciting colors and expert puppeteering of Rocky, but you’ll move on with your day as soon as the lights come back on.
★★★